4 Months on T

Posted: March 23, 2018 in Uncategorized

So it has been 4 months since I started Testosterone. I am on Androgel which is the gel form of testosterone. I choose to go that way because of my opera voice as well as my body being sensitive to new drugs.  A lot of things have changed for me. I kept my mustache from no shave November and it is no longer peach fuzz . It still is light but has some darkness coming in. I also get dark stubble on my chin and under  my chin and a little on my neck. It comes in patchy so I usually shave it but for this week and the next I’m just going to let it grow out some and see what it looks like and if I don’t like it then I will shave it all off.  Also my voice has dropped noticeably. I didn’t hear it but my friends have and told me I sound way different than before and that my voice has gone from a low alto to a baritone. I have tried singing lately and I can’t hit the high notes that well but am getting a small falsetto. I can sing lower now. I can sing as a low tenor and it is a lot more comfortable for me. Also due to going through second puberty I have gained some acne and I think this stuff has gottenworse than the first time. When I went through puberty the first time I only got acne on my face and it was just a zit here or there and I could get rid of them easily. Well second time around is not that easy. For the acne is on my back and shoulders and sometimes they are hard to reach to clean in the shower. Also I am turning into a fuzzy wazzy. My whole stomach is covered in dark hair and I have an interesting large happy trail now. Have not received any chest hairs yet but I know they will pop up eventually. Also my sex drive has been off the chain.  I have become a teenage boy and I am 25. That is it for the update.

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DAY 2 ON T

Posted: November 26, 2017 in Uncategorized

I started Tesosterone on Nov. 21,2017.

https://youtu.be/Sa7SzBUJQrk

One year later

Posted: November 26, 2017 in All Things Trans

Well, I broke up with some folks and ended up finding my true love. I found my fiance Cynthia . My fiance is fully supportive of me being Transgender and wanting to medically transition. As of 5 days ago I started my medical transition with the help of my primary doctor. I am far more happy with my life than a year ago when I wrote my last post.

 

Where am I?

Posted: January 29, 2016 in All Things Trans

Where are the words, that used to flow from my hands as easily as taking a breath in and out.

Why have I lost my art?

Why have I lost myself?

Where have I gone?

What have I become?

I used to be full of happiness and now it has faded away from me.

Why am I not happy?

Who is the real me?

Where is my poetry?

I used to be a little bird that would sing when I was sad and make myself happy. Yet that has gone away from me.

Where is my voice?

Where is my song?

Where have I gone?

What has become of me?

All it feels now a days is that I am a cog in the machine. Nothing more nothing less. Not even a human being anymore.

Where is my soul?

Why am I lost in the Matrix?

Just feeling coded and not an individual anymore.

Where am I?

What has become of me?

Why am I a slave to my society?

Just fit in and try your best.

Be the Actress you where meant to be and not the Actor you feel inside.

 

Where am I?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The (Trans)cendental Tourist

It’s been a weird year for trans people.

Allow me to be more specific: It’s been a heated, daring, tumultuous, graphic, specularizing, aggressive, pointed, contentious, highly fatal, and really, really complicated year for trans people.

Here are a few examples: Kristina Gomez Reinwald, Ty Underwood, Lamia Beard, and many other transwomen of color have been brutally murdered at the hands of lovers, family members, and strangers. Meanwhile, Laverne Cox and Janet Mock have come to fame and exhibited incredible feats of grace, articulation, and poignancy under the gaze of an eager media. Blake Brockington, Leelah Alcorn, Taylor Alesana, and many other transgender youth have committed suicide after enduring endless bullying and systematic brutality. Meanwhile, Jazz Jennings became the new face of Clean & Clear and published a children’s picture book about her life, and teen trans couple Arin Andrews and Katie Hill (best known for “Can You Even Believe They’re Trans?!” types of headlines) wrote and published individual books…

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a gentleman and a scholar

As much as I write about trans issues, particularly those outside of a binary framework, I realised recently that the majority of that writing is about education, media, specific activist events or frameworks.

Not that I think any of that is a bad thing – but it does leave out something that I, and a lot of other trans people, do in our day to day lives – we swap advice on the practicalities of living in a cissexist, transphobic world.

So here’s what I have on navigating the world as someone who does not (or does not primarily, or straightforwardly) live as a man or a woman.* If you’re new to this, I hope it helps. If you’re an old hand, I’d love to hear your advice. It should go without saying that no one should feel obliged to act as I do to have their gender recognised. But…

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Video  —  Posted: June 19, 2015 in Uncategorized

Transitions of My Life

Posted: March 2, 2015 in All Things Trans
Tags: , ,

Life transitions are always hard for me.  Hell I think they are hard for everyone. Change is just a growing pain of life.

So in December 2014 I had to find a new living area and thankfully I found a friend and have been with them for the past 3 months.

In about two weeks I am going to be 22 years old. Which amazes me that I have come this far. Hell last year I was even more amazed at getting to 21.  Plus with transgender statistics people in my category only live to 23 and I hope I survive longer then that.

My life has been an up hill climb both ways these last three years for me.

So, I guess what I am getting at is that I am amazed that I am still alive and kicking and able to make posts still.

When I keep seeing transgender people getting killed by being themselves or doing it to themselves in the form of suicide due to not having a support net to fall back on which makes me sad and angry at the same time.

Why is our society so messed up that just due to not being afraid to be the real you, can kill you?