Fusion

There’s something really powerful about portraits, especially when the subject is staring right back at you.

And even more so when that subject is “rarely visualized,” to use the words of photographer Jess T. Dugan. Starting in the fall of 2013, Dugan traveled the country taking photos of a group of people she says deserve to be seen more often: transgender and gender variant people over the age of 50.

Dugan’s work—a collaboration with Vanessa Fabbre, a scholar and professor of social work at Washington University in St. Louis—comes as older trans people are just barely beginning to break through into mainstream culture. Even though over half of the trans population in the U.S. is over the age of 50, it wasn’t until last month that Jeffrey Tambor, 70, won a Golden Globe for playing a father transitioning of as a woman in the Amazon series “Transparent.”

Fusion spoke with…

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a gentleman and a scholar

Because so many people who want to know more about trans rights, and be supportive, don’t really know what dysphoria is, or what it can do.

Because so many people who want to derail or dismiss discussions of trans people and our existence believe that they can ignore it, or somehow explain it away.

Have you ever broken a limb and had it in plaster? And when you went to move it you couldn’t – when your brain told it to function it failed? When you looked down and expected something – preemptively felt it – your eyes contradicted you, the limitations of your embodied self clashed against the self that your brain expected to be there?

That’s how dysphoria has always felt to me.

It was stumbling with shock when my arms brushed against my breasts (and I struggle to write the word my next to breasts because they…

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Anxiety

Posted: August 21, 2014 in Mental Illness
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The first thing I do when I wake up is think of all the responsibilities I need to get done.

And with each one racing through my head, my chest starts to tighten up.

My hands being to shake and I feel a knot grow in my throat.

All I want to do is scream at that point, yet I can’t.

As everything starts to just enclose around me due to the fact my life is crumbling around me.

Welcome to my anxiety.

Two Spirit

Posted: June 10, 2014 in All Things Trans
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2When I have a brand new hair do
Not with my eye lashes all in a curl
I can’t seem to float on clouds of air
And I don’t enjoy being a girl

I don’t flip when a fellow sends me flowers
I can’t drool over dresses made of lace
I can’t seem to talk on the telephone for hours
And I sure as hell don’t wear a pound and a half of cream upon my face

I am not strictly female
Or male at that either
I am a two spirit

And I hope my future will bring
Peace and Happiness
With a couple of kitty cats and puppy dogs, running under neath me

When men say I am cute and funny
I look at them with this most confused look on my face
As they misgender me
And think, and say out loud – EXCUSE ME, BUT IT’S SIR
I don’t enjoy being a girl

I am a MAN
I drool over tuxes and ties
I text for hours at a time
And I look in the mirror every day
Trying to see what hair is growing upon this face of mine

I am not strictly female
I am not strictly male
I am a two spirit

And I hope this future of mine
Will turn into something better then the past
That was hell for me
I enjoy being a GUY

My talking my poem out that I did off of a friends tattoos.

Video  —  Posted: June 2, 2014 in All Things Trans
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long_distance_love_cLately life was looking like it was going down a down ward spiral. But then things started to get better for me.

I meet a really nice young Trans Man that I will just be using the letter K for his name.  K is a sweet heart that lives down in the south.

We meet on an ftm Facebook group and just started chatting about all things ftm . And I was giving him links left and right. He then gave me his phone number to text him. So he could have more information. For he just owns a smart phone and doesn’t have a computer at all.

From there we started chatting and became friends and now are more then just that.

So, my ankle is still messed up from a choir injury that happened a while ago.

But all my activism for the T in LGBT is going well.

And now I have a cutie that keeps me in good spirits as well.