Man

So many thoughts going through my head. Will I ever be man enough , I keep poundering. But also the though of what makes a man a man. Is it toxic masculinity of white America or is it my father figures that can’t except me as my true self. Fuck this tog and pull of what makes a man. Can I embrace my feminity that I shunned till I turned 20?  Can I love floral print and clothes have no gender? Why must I fit a box for people to love me? Why can’t I just be the man I want to be. Why must I be in black and white stereotypes of female and male and not embrace the rainbow of gender freedom and be accepted as me. Why?

Six years

Six years ago I left home

I left you Mom

I learned I am just as crazy as you Mom

Battling the demons and angels

Seeing and living out dreams I never imaged would come true

Yearning for home

Learning lessions that only pain can teach you

Trust issues

Self abuse

Learning that I am the only one in control of my destiny

Copping skills and routines to get back on track

Meds to become the stable authentic me

Rainbow

In the world of pink and blue, I am a rainbow. The outcast with a bright light. Holding on to the edge of life as everything crumbles around me and I get reborn. Rise from the ashes, stronger and made a new. The phoniex with bright blue eyes that shine like the fire inside that keeps me strong.

To start the day …. Strong Message: “Break Free”!!

It Is What It Is

~~February 10, 2015~~ 

Powerful …. just for one minute, put yourself in this human being’s shoes!!

(Please, watch this video with the sensibility it’s intended to have. No intention to offend).

Ruby Rose: ‘I used to pray to God that I wouldn’t get breasts’

The Australian model, DJ and television personality opens up about her struggle with gender identity depicted in her new video

Everybody has a crush on Ruby Rose. Her heart-shaped jaw and piercing eyes first caught the attention of modeling agents when she was a child, and by her teens she was known as the cool tattooed girl on Australian MTV (her audition process required her to pound shots of beer and make out with strangers in the street).

And being gay was not much of a problem for mainstream television. While accepting an award for Favorite Female Personality in 2009, Rose impulsively blurted a question…

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What being transgender after 50 looks like

Transgender Day of Remembrance 2014 in Riverside,CA

This is what dysphoria feels like

a gentleman and a scholar

Because so many people who want to know more about trans rights, and be supportive, don’t really know what dysphoria is, or what it can do.

Because so many people who want to derail or dismiss discussions of trans people and our existence believe that they can ignore it, or somehow explain it away.

Have you ever broken a limb and had it in plaster? And when you went to move it you couldn’t – when your brain told it to function it failed? When you looked down and expected something – preemptively felt it – your eyes contradicted you, the limitations of your embodied self clashed against the self that your brain expected to be there?

That’s how dysphoria has always felt to me.

It was stumbling with shock when my arms brushed against my breasts (and I struggle to write the word my next to breasts because they…

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TED Talk: Ending Gender by Scott Turner Schofield

Gavyn Sims – FTM Vlog | No Transitional Blueprint

Trans* 101 by Scott Turner Schofield