Posts Tagged ‘FTM’

Two Spirit

Posted: June 10, 2014 in All Things Trans
Tags: , , , , ,

2When I have a brand new hair do
Not with my eye lashes all in a curl
I can’t seem to float on clouds of air
And I don’t enjoy being a girl

I don’t flip when a fellow sends me flowers
I can’t drool over dresses made of lace
I can’t seem to talk on the telephone for hours
And I sure as hell don’t wear a pound and a half of cream upon my face

I am not strictly female
Or male at that either
I am a two spirit

And I hope my future will bring
Peace and Happiness
With a couple of kitty cats and puppy dogs, running under neath me

When men say I am cute and funny
I look at them with this most confused look on my face
As they misgender me
And think, and say out loud – EXCUSE ME, BUT IT’S SIR
I don’t enjoy being a girl

I am a MAN
I drool over tuxes and ties
I text for hours at a time
And I look in the mirror every day
Trying to see what hair is growing upon this face of mine

I am not strictly female
I am not strictly male
I am a two spirit

And I hope this future of mine
Will turn into something better then the past
That was hell for me
I enjoy being a GUY


My talking my poem out that I did off of a friends tattoos.

long_distance_love_cLately life was looking like it was going down a down ward spiral. But then things started to get better for me.

I meet a really nice young Trans Man that I will just be using the letter K for his name.  K is a sweet heart that lives down in the south.

We meet on an ftm Facebook group and just started chatting about all things ftm . And I was giving him links left and right. He then gave me his phone number to text him. So he could have more information. For he just owns a smart phone and doesn’t have a computer at all.

From there we started chatting and became friends and now are more then just that.

So, my ankle is still messed up from a choir injury that happened a while ago.

But all my activism for the T in LGBT is going well.

And now I have a cutie that keeps me in good spirits as well.

Gender Therapy

Posted: March 12, 2014 in All Things Trans
Tags: , ,


I though group therapy was going well for me. But bloody emotions and things that have been pushed to the back of my mind for years and then bring it up and all that trauma surfacing to the top makes someone have an emotional melt down. And I know that is far less except able in a group then one on one therapy setting.

I know I talk to much and I just feel so awkward and lonely in group. For I am such a different guy then all the others. I try to not be a man with an audience of peers. I try to keep my urges of wanting to help another threw my personal experiences and just get help for myself. All I wanted was help to get over all my fears and bull shit aka tape recorders of my family and get free of it all slowly but surely so I could let it go and just be me. And have friends from group and be a part of there life as well as them in mine.

And start finally getting through my emotional transition. *sighs*


Well, Therapy seems to be going well for me. Yet, it feels like my therapist hardly cares about me. She knows that I am broke and semi-homeless at this moment in time. I also understand she has to help the other guys in the group. It just feels to me that she hardly wants to get to know me and really help me. It was nice the first time I saw her and it was one on one. But she twisted my arm about  wanting to go on to Testosterone. And stated to me; the way I took it, that she will only continue to see me if I do start on T.

I understand that artificial hormones for trans folk are great and dandy. But, with my family history of mental illness and all my past junk with my family that I have not been able to get through, I am just an emotional mess at the moment.  As well as not wanting to lose my singing voice that the high power above gifted me with.

As my Big Brother told me with his tattoos, it is an emotional evolution for an internal revolution.

You have to get through all the emotional junk in your head first. Then be  110% sure that you wish to medically transition.

Which in this point in time is hard for me to fathom, getting on hormones.

Due to all the personal turmoil in my mind that I have not been able to release and fully conquered yet.

Anyways…that is how I am feeling about hormones at the moment.

T on the voice

Posted: February 21, 2014 in All Things Trans
Tags: , ,

T on the voice

Testosterone on the voice

The Changing Female to Male (FTM) Voice

FTM voice change done slowly then the medical standard of using Testosterone in one’s body