This is what dysphoria feels like

a gentleman and a scholar

Because so many people who want to know more about trans rights, and be supportive, don’t really know what dysphoria is, or what it can do.

Because so many people who want to derail or dismiss discussions of trans people and our existence believe that they can ignore it, or somehow explain it away.

Have you ever broken a limb and had it in plaster? And when you went to move it you couldn’t – when your brain told it to function it failed? When you looked down and expected something – preemptively felt it – your eyes contradicted you, the limitations of your embodied self clashed against the self that your brain expected to be there?

That’s how dysphoria has always felt to me.

It was stumbling with shock when my arms brushed against my breasts (and I struggle to write the word my next to breasts because they…

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Anxiety

The first thing I do when I wake up is think of all the responsibilities I need to get done.

And with each one racing through my head, my chest starts to tighten up.

My hands being to shake and I feel a knot grow in my throat.

All I want to do is scream at that point, yet I can’t.

As everything starts to just enclose around me due to the fact my life is crumbling around me.

Welcome to my anxiety.