Can I ever be “MAN” enough?

Posted: January 3, 2013 in All Things Trans
Tags: ,

So I called my grandparents that raised me from 3yrs old to 18 for Christmas. I told them I was transgender earlier this year and they flipped out on me and I didn’t talk to them for 6 months. Then I decided I would man up and just have a nice conversation with them about life and all that jazz. I had found many helpful sites that told me what being ftm was and talked to guys that have transitioned or are in the middle of it right now and got most of my questions answered and this reddit has helped me tons.

But when I called my grandmother with all the facts and she asked me if I was still going threw with this. I told her yes I am. And she wanted to know statistics of how many people are trans and how it is so rare a thing to be this way and how it can possibly kill you. She told me I would be a guinea pig for going on to T for they have not mastered it yet. And I told her I was going to go to a counselor and have her check me out and then a doc and have all the blood work and all that if I get approved and follow the guidelines they set out for me and stay happy and healthy. When my grandmother just told me that I was not being health by putting this toxic waste into my body which would show who I really am on the inside into the light on the outside. And then my grandfather told me I would never be man enough no matter how good I pass or how I act and all of that because I was not raised a man and will never be “man” enough.

I tried to tell them I understood it was really hard for them to wrap this concept around their minds. And if they would just be quiet for a minute and listen to how it makes me so depressed and take a step in my shoes just for a second like I have done so many times in the past just to come to a better understanding with them then maybe we could find a middle ground and I would not lose them.

For I fear with all there blind ignorance they will never come to an understanding of who I really am deep down inside and I want to let them in and I keep trying for I blocked them out for years in high school and told them it was not them it was me and I just want to be the real me and didn’t know how to state that until now. I really just want to give them a better understanding of who I am and have them in my life and not lose them.

tldr; Talked to the grandparents that raised me after coming out to them and they told be I am making the wrong decision by wanting to transition and I don’t want to lose them over this and really want to transition badly.

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